It sounds like you feel trapped between your (and/or your partner’s) desire for freedom and the safety of your marriage. Many people confuse freedom with independence and autonomy. Ultimately, freedom is an inner state, while independence and autonomy are outer conditions or circumstances. We experience freedom when we have the power to choose our attitude in any given set of circumstances (including being in a marriage). The other condition for inner freedom is when we can live our biological and transcendental purpose in an authentic way. That is why humans feel most free in a healthy marriage. However, if you mean independence and autonomy, or in other words, to have the freedom to do whatever you please whenever you want, then it will be difficult to carry out a marriage. But this freedom is a short-lived illusion, as humans are never independent and autonomous. We all depend on others for our survival as well as mental and emotional well-being, and we all have a deep desire to learn, heal, grow, awaken and to live our purpose. Of course, this is only possible with an equal and opposite partner who shares our passions, values, lifestyle, and purpose. Then you will feel totally free inside your marriage.