Integral Relationship Practice

This manual is for singles and couples who are not only interested in the theory of Integral Relationships as outlined in my previous two books, Integral Relationships: A Manual for Men and Sex Purpose Love: Couples in Integral Relationships Creating a Better World, but also in the deep understanding that can only be gained through embodied practices and experiences. It is for those who realize that for us to become fully human means to develop the capacity to be simultaneously whole in themselves (ourselves) AND part of healthy, sustainable love relationships and nuclear families, who then form the foundation for thriving communities and flourishing societies. And it is for those who understand that cultural and biological evolution are intertwined—that we need to raise conscious children if we want to raise consciousness on the planet to create a better world and a peaceful, sustainable future for humanity.

This manual is also intended for helping professionals who want to support their clients in co-creating healthy love relationships, and for group facilitators who feel called to lead events, workshops, and trainings in which the participants sharpen their relationships skills together with others in their local communities through experiential exercises. My wish for all readers is that they co-create Integral Relationships and inspire and teach others so that the Integral Relationship vision can ripple out into the world and make it a better place.

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Paperback available in: US, Canada, UK, Germany, France, Spain, Italy, Netherlands, Poland, Sweden, Japan, Australia and adjacent countries. Contact us for shipping rates to other countries. 

Reviews of "Integral Relationship Practice"

“This is a brilliant book about Integral relationships, particularly in their practice form. I know of no book that does this in a better or more thorough form. It definitely has my highest recommendation!”

Ken Wilber

The Religion of Tomorrow

"The Art of Loving"

“Not since Eric Fromm’s classic, The Art of Loving, have we seen such a rich exposition on intimate relationships, and how to create and maintain them.”

Allan Combs, PhD

Author of Consciousness Explained Better, The Radiance of Being, and other titles.

"The Key To Hope For The Future"

“Written with humor, wisdom, and depth, this is a comprehensive manual for exploring the complex territory of our personal relationships. As a guide to facilitating group process, the experiential exercises provide ways to embody the wide variety of themes in the theoretical material. Anyone wishing to discover more about their partner, and their own relationship behavior and prepare themselves for deeper intimacy and fulfillment will find this an extensive resource. And as Ucik argues—having rich, healthy, integral relationships is truly the key to hope for the future.”

Barbara J Hunt
Author of Forgiveness Made Easy: The Revolutionary Guide to Moving Beyond Your Past and Truly Letting Go

Aftab Omer - Integral European Conference

"Heart Of Relationality"

"Human worlds are constituted relationally and are destroyed when relationality ruptures. The transgenerational transmission that scaffolds relational development is a casualty of cultural crisis. The ways in which social media trivializes and twists the heart of relationality is only one of the vectors of cultural crisis. This book, robust also with current theory, is truly intended as a manual for practitioners. While primary bonding is its focus, relating is an essential practice for all of us, making this book useful to anyone Interested in growing relational capability through relational practice.


Aftab Omer, PhD
President, Meridian University

"Skillfully Woven"

“Martin’s book is a valuable resource for anyone who values nourishing, meaningful, healthy relationships. He has skillfully woven together multiple approaches to create a multifaceted model of how relationships work and can evolve. The practical exercises take you along a step-by-step path that leads to an in-depth understanding of your own way of relating, areas for development, and strategies for creating a fulfilling relationship. Highly recommended.”

Jan Day
Author and Teacher of Living Tantra

"All noble things are as difficult as they are rare"

“Being, becoming, and relating are intertwined and need to be informed and enacted in the light of art, science, and spirituality, of East and West. And Martin’s Integral Relationship Practice accomplishes that magnificently. It also complements the previous two books by skillfully connecting the tried and tested Integral theory with corresponding practices, hence cultivating true and authentic embodiment. ̀A la Ken Wilber, if reality tetra-arises, so do our relationships. And Martin’s manual provides holonic performatives for the co-creation of waking up, growing up, cleaning up, showing up, linking up, lifting up, and opening up, in mutuality, passionately, and purposefully. It’s a tall order, but as Spinoza said, ‘All noble things are as difficult as they are rare.’”

Nomi Naeem
Senior Librarian, Central Brooklyn Public Library, New York, Editor at Light on Light Press

"The Fire Of Personal And Spiritual Work!"

“In this, the third installment of his Integral Relationship opus, Martin Ucik offers us a mind-bogglingly comprehensive manual for how to co-create integrally informed romantic relationships. His promise is that through the fire of personal and spiritual work necessary to forge enlightened love relationships, we can co-create the foundation for an authentic second-tier future culture. Martin feels that the fulfilment of the promise of integral theory lies in the coming of age of the progeny of spiritually awakened adults. If he is right, we will all have a lot to thank him for.”

Andrew Cohen
Author of Evolutionary Enlightenment, Founder of Manifest Nirvana,

"Wisdom Clearly Laid Out In"

“In his third book on Integral Relationships, Martin Ucik presents a truly all-encompassing coverage of the topic through applied practice and step by step description and instructions. The book is broken down into 26 modules, each covering a different aspect of relationships from an integral perspective and from other related disciplines. This comprehensive reference combines decades of wisdom clearly laid out in a practical and applicable manner. I cannot recommend this book enough.”

Khaled ElSherbini, PhD
Transpersonal Psychologist and Consciousness Mentor, founder of “The Consciousness Academy” and “Enneagram Egypt”

"Integral Vision Of Relationships"

"Martin puts together an integral vision of relationships that is brilliant. He has a rare mind that can see the “whole elephant” and how the parts and the whole interrelate. He intuitively knows what’s truly relevant in relationships. Comprehensiveness is important for a full understanding, and this book provides it beautifully. His book ensures that we don’t overlook our blind spots. I don’t know where else you can get this kind of intelligent comprehensiveness! More and more people are realizing that we need to awaken and heal together in relationship and in community. Martin integrates the relationship wisdom of others yet authentically comes from his own unique transcendent yet grounded fully human wisdom. I gained a lot, going through all 26 modules with Martin and got to know him on a beautiful soul level. I invite you to receive his gifts and give them to others. As a practicing psychologist specializing in relationships, I can’t recommend his book enough."

Wayne Carr, PhD
Executive Director: Center for Growth and Healing, Seattle

"The Bounds Of Integral Theory"

“In this encyclopedic work, Martin Ucik delivers a comprehensive look at how he has been applying Integral Theory to the subject of intimate relating. It covers so many topics, expanding outside the bounds of Integral Theory, covering such topics as truth-telling, shame, polarities, and purpose. If you were going to teach a year-long course in intimacy, this could be your curriculum. I highly recommend this book.”

Susan Campbell, PhD
Author of Getting Real, From Triggered to Tranquil, and other titles


Sex Purpose Love addresses the complexity of love relationships in the 21st century and the importance of healthy sustainable love relationships to solve the global challenges that humanity is facing. It applies Ken Wilber s Integral theory of human growth and potentials to the areas of sex, purpose, love, and couples creating a better world.

Part 1 about the Sexes outlines how singles and couples can co-create healthy Integral relationships by meeting each other at their level of development (e.g. consciousness, spirituality, sexuality, and anima/animus complex), and learn, heal, grow, and awaken together.
Part 2 about Purpose shows how individuals can identify and then share their life’s purpose with an equal and opposite partner to co-create a healthy lifelong Integral relationship that serves the greatest good for the largest number of people and thus makes the world a better place.
Part 3 about Love provides a new Integral vision for love between partners at the level of all seven Chakras (material, sexual, power, emotional, creativity, wisdom, and unity) and even more so for what is uniquely co-created between them.
Part 4 about Creating a Better World provides data and good reasons why couples with children in healthy lifelong Integral love relationships are better off than singles and essential for creating a better world and future in which everyone can flourish.

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Kindle Ebook available Word-Wide

Paperback available in: US, Canada, UK, Germany, France, Spain, Italy, Netherlands, Poland, Sweden, Japan, Australia and adjacent countries. Contact us for shipping rates to other countries. 


"Ground-breaking work"

“Martin Ucik has continued his ground-breaking work in applying Integral Theory to the whole complex issue of relationships. Like his first book in this area, it is fully grounded in Integral Theory, and continues adding new, interesting, and relevant material to it, to bring a truly up-to-date overview of today’s relationships and how to make them work from the very highest potentials possible. Some of it is controversial, but that’s what you expect from any truly great pioneering approaches, and this is certainly that. Given the fractured and fragmented state of relationships as they exist now, nothing is more important for today than a truly comprehensive and inclusive and leading-edge guide. Highly recommended for men and women alike who are looking for a relationship today that will actually last. One thing is for sure—not taking into account all the information, insights, and wisdom that is contained in this book is to almost guarantee any relationship will not last. So check this out, you’ll be very glad you did!”

Ken Wilber

"Bold Utopian Vision"

“I have always believed that for romantic and sexual relationships to flourish and be truly enduring, it was essential that both parties share the same hopes, values, and existential aspirations. In Sex Purpose Love Martin Ucik lays out a bold utopian vision in which integrally inspired romantic couples who share both biological and transcendental purpose, endeavor to bond at all levels. What is driving their tantric passions is not merely a quest for personal fulfillment but the highest aspiration: that their radical and inclusive union/communion can form the enlightened nuclei or building blocks of a better, more evolved world to come.

This evolutionary manifesto is both a detailed guidebook and a compelling argument that brings to light our unexamined beliefs, assumptions, hidden hopes, and fears about sex and love. Boldly, Ucik has paved new and exciting territory into the captivating world of the possible for us all.”

Andrew Cohen,
Founder of Evolutionary Enlightenment

"Beautiful Book!"

“Martin Ucik has given us another beautiful book on love relationships, including along the way many insights about integral living as well.”

Allan Combs, Ph.D.
CIIS Professor of Consciousness Studies, President of The Society for Consciousness Studies, Editor: CONSCIOUSNESS: Ideas and Research for the 21st Century

"A Salutary Read"

“Sex Purpose Love sheds new light on intimate relations. In his new book, Martin Ucik builds a bridge between a Californian way of feeling and the continental philosophy of life. A really instructive and salutary read!”

Dr. Ferdinand Fellmann
Prof. Emeritus for Philosophy at Chemnitz University and author of The Couple: Intimate Relations in a New Key

"Countless Perspectives"

“The Integral approach is all about multiple perspectives. The more ways we can experience each moment, the more complete our view and the more choices we have. Many studies have found that satisfying relationships are the main contributors to happiness, and that modern intimacy is challenging.  Sex, Purpose, Love: Couples in Integral Relationships Creating a Better World provides countless perspectives and insights, organized around the Integral model to help individuals and couples grow in their abilities to love and serve throughout a lifetime. Highly recommended!”

Keith Witt, Ph.D.
Author of Integral Mindfulness: From Clueless to Dialed-In, and Shadow Light: Illuminations at the Edge of Darkness

"Sweeping Opus"

“Martin Ucik has produced a sweeping opus and seminal meta-analysis regarding the past, present, and future of co-creative love relationships. Sex Purpose Love is a well-researched and comprehensive guide into the intricacies of human development, relationships, sexual dynamics, and Integral theory. It leads us to a marvelous critical discourse on the direction and fate of human flourishing. The call toward living our individual ultimate purpose and finding shared evolutionary purpose with another is both loving and imploring.”

Wesly Feuquay, M. Ed.

Prof. of Consciousness Studies - Maricopa Colleges, AZ, Founder and Director of The PSYLOGIA Institute for the Development of Consciousness, Purpose, and Transformation

Bodhisattvic, scholarly and passionate

“Martin Ucik’s new book is a great gift for all of us who are struggling to make sense of self and relationships in an increasingly chaotic and tribal world. His passion, compassion, and sincerity are weaved into every sentence. It’s so palpable to me. As a librarian, I love to spread the good word and I can’t wait to spread it far and wide. Martin has brought Integral theory down-to-earth where it is needed the most. Sex Purpose Love is a bodhisattvic, scholarly and passionate blend of wisdom from the East and West, from the sacred and scientific, and from the intrinsic and extrinsic that can help tremendously in making our tribal as well as our transcendental unconscious conscious, and thereby developing our highest but often unrealized human potentials for loving sincerely, and living meaningfully–and inspiring others to do the same.”

Nomi Naeem
Senior Librarian, Central Brooklyn Public Library, Integral New York

"Needed Contribution"

“A much-needed contribution, written to reach many who are interested in the intricacies of coupling. This book provides the reader with an easily understood application of integral theory while elucidating the obstacles and joys in couple development.”

Tom Habib, Ph.D., 
Clinical Psychologist, Carlsbad, California

Integral Relationships: A Manual for Men

Integral Relationships: A Manual for Men (and curious women) provides a practical roadmap for singles and couples to co-create healthy, sustainable love relationships. The book integrates the growth potentials of body, mind, heart, and spirit/soul through balancing healthy feminine and masculine polarities, and puts them into a cultural and social context. This allows men to meet women as opposite and equal partners at their level of development to co-create sustainable love relationships that serve the greatest good for the largest number of people.

Read more

Kindle Ebook available Word-Wide

Paperback available in: US, Canada, UK, Germany, France, Spain, Italy, Netherlands, Poland, Sweden, Japan, Australia and adjacent countries. Contact us for shipping rates to other countries. 

Reviews of "Integral Relationships: A Manual for Men"

"A giant compliment in itself"

“I have only glanced over your book but find it intriguing enough to add to our library of carefully selected relationship books as we enter into the process of writing our own, which is a giant compliment in itself — you know how much is out there.

Dr. David Feinstein,
Co-Author, The Promise of Energy Psychology

"I haven’t seen anything quite like it"

It’s a terrific book, Buddy.  The more and more I read, the more and more I was just really astounded how much territory you cover.  I will read sections of the book and hopefully people will get a sense of just how complete this thing is.  Honestly, I haven’t seen anything quite like it [chuckles]—it’s very impressive.

Ken Wilber
The Integral Vision


“After a bit of a dry start, the book comes alive when you give real-life examples of the various stages and stage combinations.  Actually, it fills the vacuum created by the book SEX, GOD & GENDER that Ken Wilber announced around 1997 as volume 2 of his Kosmos Trilogy but which will probably never see the light of day – as will volume 3, for that matter.  But your book is probably more practical and helpful given Wilber’s sweeping style of writing.  I found the transcend/include vs. transcend/exclude (e.g. dissociate?) gender difference interesting, as well as your stress on the paramount role of sexual selection during consciousness evolution.”

Frank Visser
Integral World

"You’ve done an impressive job"

I read the pages you suggested and am impressed by your scholarship!  You must be one of the first people in history to put the postmodern predicament as it relates to sex and romance on the integral map, and you’ve done an impressive job.  I don’t have any particular feedback to give you.  It was clear that your ideas regarding what truly evolved transpersonal relationships would actually look like were somewhat speculative, but what else could they be?  We’re not there yet…

Andrew Cohen,
Spiritual Teacher, Founder Enlighten Next Magazine

"Refreshing in a landscape littered with cloying fluff"

“I read “Integral Relationships: A Manual for Men” this morning and found it to be an insightful and powerful application of the Integral model to what has to be the most compelling developmental topic in the world.  I especially appreciated your straightforward and candid style; it was refreshing in a landscape littered with cloying fluff.

Robb Smith
Author of Integral Mindfulness: From Clueless to Dialed-In, and Shadow Light: Illuminations at the Edge of Darkness

"Excellent resource for men and relationships in general"

“...backed up by scientific findings at every step, this amazing work is the finest to date on relationships for men.”

Allan Combs, Ph.D.
CIIS Professor of Consciousness Studies, President of The Society for Consciousness Studies, Editor: CONSCIOUSNESS: Ideas and Research for the 21st Century

Integral Relationship Books in Other Languages:



Integrál Párkapcsolat



Integrale Beziehungen: Ein Ratgeber für Männer
(und interessierte Frauen)



Sex Bestimmung Liebe


Интегральные отношения


Kvinder – en manual for mænd






Integral Partnerlik ve Cinsellik – Sağlıklı İlişkiler Rehberi

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