Thank you for the question. It must be very frustrating to be in such a relationship, especially if you know who you are and what you want. The first step is to understand the difference between rescuing, which keeps people dependent on you, and helping, which makes people independent by supporting them in helping themselves. This requires you to have healthy boundaries and enough self-esteem so you don’t be or become an enabler and codependent. The best way is to ask him questions such as: What would it take for you to find your passion and purpose in life? What steps do you plan to take to realize your full human potential? How can I support you in taking these steps? What do you see as the shared values, purpose and future of our relationship? What steps do you see us taking together to co-create a healthy, loving, sustainable relationship with a shared purpose? If he can not come up with good answers, he will remain in his victim role and will continue to feed on you until you burn out. You or him will then end the relationship and he will find someone new to feed on. 

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