In Session 1 of our 26-week Integral Relationship Training and Live Workshop we cover four essential dimensions of relating. They emerged in human evolution and became genetically encoded through females who not only selected males for physical strength and social status as their mates, but also who were cognitively intelligent, kind to them and their kin, artistically creative, and practical.
Three of these four dimensions became known in philosophy and religions as “The Transcendentals” of truth (science), goodness (morals/critical philosophy), and beauty (artistic/aesthetic). Modern philosophers like Ken Wilber, Roy Bhaskar, and Edgar Morin added a fourth dimension of practical (functional systems, social) to them.
To co-create healthy love relationships, a better world, and a sustainable and peaceful future for all humanity, it is crucial that men rise to the occasion and that women continue to select for these four qualities in their partners to co-create (and if possible procreate) with them as equals in rights and responsibilities, so that their memes and genes are carried on to future generations.
I feel so passionate about the Integral Relationship Vision, because with hyper-individualism, ever increasing numbers of singles, and crashing birth rates in modern and postmodern societies, I am deeply concerned that this co-creation and procreation is no longer happening in sufficient numbers and will lead to tremendous suffering.
To reverse this decline, we learn and practice in our Integral Relationship Practitioners, Professionals, and Group Facilitators Trainings and Workshops how to bring awareness into these four essential dimensions of healthy love relationships that create a better world.
We break them down into the “I” (individual interior = beauty), “We” (collective interior = goodness), It (individual exterior = truth), and “Its” (collective exterior = functional) as shown below.
Image above: Four dimensions of being
The participants practice how to share answers and make validity claims with a date or partner for the following basic questions:
Upper Left “I” Mind:
• What are you most passionate about?
• What is of ultimate concern to you?
• What is beautiful to you?
• What is your spiritual practice and shadow work?
• What individual interior potentials would you like to develop and share with a/your partner?
Lower Left “We” Culture:
• What are your significant relationships in the past and present? (Think family, romantic partners, teachers, mentors, culture, ethics, etc.)
• How have these relationships formed who you are and how you see the world?
• What does “being good” mean to you?
• What collective interior (cultural) relationship potentials would you like to realize with a/your partner? (Think friends, family, community, society, humanity.)
Upper Right “It” Body:
• How do you feel about your body, health and (if you like to share) sexuality?
• How do you take care of your body? Think exercise, nutrition, rest, meditation, bodywork etc.
• How do you decide what is objectively true?
• What physical/health/sexual/truth potentials would you like to develop and share with a/your partner?
Lower Right “Its” Social:
• Where and how do you live?
• What is the social environment that sustains your life (work, lifestyle, economic, and ecological)?
• How do you contribute to society?
• What social potentials and lifestyle would you like to realize and share with a/your partner?
They can then quickly see if there is enough resonance between them to co-create a thriving relationship in the four dimensions to make the world a better place by creating a shared vision and mission statement.
We have dozens more questions and values to consider for each dimensions in the training and workshop material.
Image above: Couple with four dimensions
2. Identify levels of consciousness development and how to learn, heal, and grow together with an equal and opposite partner.
3. Communicate with your partner at his or her level of consciousness so that you are both heard and understood and get your needs met.
4. Understand biological and gender differences to avoid going down the infamous Fear-Shame spiral and to return to love.
5. Balance and harmonize healthy feminine and masculine polarities to create synergy and sexual passion.
6. Awaken together through the five state-stages of spiritual development.
7. Co-create a healthy and rewarding sex-life by healing and growing towards sacred and tantric sexuality.
8. Understand the Anima-Animus complex so that you can co-create a healthy love relationships at stage three or five.
9. Become aware of personality types to understand the essential needs, preferences, and qualities of yourself and your partner.
10. Move towards earned secure attachment through practice and creating a coherent narrative.
11. Own your emotional reactions to heal five forms of the unconscious instead of blaming your partner.
12. Create compassion and healthy boundaries when you feel attracted to or are in love with a complex partner who is highly seductive and challenging because of a personality disorder.
13. Understand your biological, transformational, and transcendental purpose that makes the world a better place and how to identify a soulmate who shares your purpose.
14. Co-create a deep love relationship with your soulmate through intimacy, passion, and commitment in all four dimensions of your being at the level of all seven chakras by balancing and harmonizing healthy feminine and masculine polarities.
The exploration of the 14 elements leads us to the image below in which equal and opposite partners realize their fullest human potentials through ongoing learning, healing, growing, and awakening in the four dimensions of their being by balancing and harmonizing healthy feminine and masculine polarities and sharing their biological, transformational, and transcendental purpose at the level of all seven chakras to make the world a better place through co-creating more goodness, truth, beauty, and functioning.
Image above: Couple co-creating at the level of all seven chakras