The level of sexual passion that individuals experience in their love relationships is represented by the length of the right side of the metaphorical triangle of love. How the sexual passion is expressed depends on the level of sexual development as outlined on pages 56-58 in Integral Relationships: A Manual for Men, psychological and physical health and abilities, and the level of consciousness development (see the Personality Matrix on pages 87 to 90).
Most Sexual Passion is experienced when a physical attraction—triggered through the fulfillment of a man’s or woman’s Primary Fantasy draws an individual to a member of the opposite sex, and his or her body secretes the “falling in love” hormones (see Chapter 5 in Integral Relationships: A Manual for Men.) For males, a seductive sexual female image (a suitable sex object) is usually enough to experience sexual desire and to get infatuated.
For most females, a combination of power, social status, wealth, wit, humor, and intelligence (since women want success objects), combined with physical attractiveness and kindness towards her and dominant aggressive behavior towards others (protection) are the prerequisites to get infatuated.
Sexual passion can also develop over time through a loving connection and through Tantric or other sexual practices in which we “play” with feminine and masculine polarities. In other words, the hormones can create the sexual passion, or the practice can trigger the hormones.
Unlike the left intimacy side of the triangle, which requires a mutual resonance between two people at the same level of consciousness to develop intimacy, infatuation can be a one-way street. It can be quite painful if the passionate sexual longings of one person are not met by an equal amount of fervor from the object of their desire. In any case, met or unmet sexual passion without a similar amount of intimacy and commitment from both partners may lead to sexual addiction, destructive behavior, emotional havoc, social isolation, depression, and financial ruin.
Increasing sexiness of individuals leads to deeper feelings of infatuation for the people who fall for them; for example, men losing their heads over much younger, curvaceous, or otherwise attractive women (e.g., poor Goethe at age 73 agonizing over Ulrike von Levetzow, age 18), or women over powerful males, (e.g., Monica Lewinsky and Bill Clinton). Similar to the propensity of certain people to become alcohol or drug addicts while others don’t, some people get infatuated more frequently while others never experience this form of attraction.
Similarly to sexual passion, we can feel passionate about a purpose, goal, practice or cause and experience the same attraction to a partner who shares this passion (see shared purpose).