Shared (Authentic) Purpose
The level of shared purpose is a new addition to the Integral Relationship model and will be further outlined in the forthcoming book Integral Evolutionary Love Relationships: Why Co-Creation and Procreation Matter.
When we authentically connect with people who share our purpose in kind and degree, and especially if it is an evolutionary purpose, it feels like sexual attraction and passion. Barbara Marx Hubbard calls it “supra sex” or “vocational arousal”.
She says: “It could well be that nature is inventing a passion as great as sexuality that I’m calling supra-sexuality. It’s the passion to identify your own unique genius code, to find partners in co-creation, to join not [only] your genes but your genius in the expression of your life purpose.”
In an Integral Evolutionary Love Relationship, we share our purpose with a partner who feels the same calling in kind and degree as we do.
Four levels and eight stages of purpose:
There are four levels of purpose and 8 stages of expression (see image below)
- No Purpose:
A shocking amount of people do not know what their life’s purpose is. They feel as victims of their past and circumstances, and that they have no or little choice. This is often truly the case. For them, the first step may be a spiritual practice, coaching or a workshop to create a vision for what they love to do, do well, and what the world needs (from them) and pays them for. They may then find a like-minded partner who can support them in actualizing their vision.
- Purpose as duty:
People who live their purpose as duty often feel that what they do is something that they are expected or required to do by family, moral or legal obligation or expectations. It is socially and culturally conditioned and often temporary. They tend to be success oriented and focus on what the world pays them for and what they do well. Sometimes people step in their fathers or mothers footsteps, or follow their expectations.
For example, my purpose is to be a mother/father. If you are a straight-A student you should become a Doctor. I have to step into my fathers footsteps or have to become what my mother never had a chance to be, e.g. a nurse or teacher.
- Authentic Purpose:
People who live their authentic purpose have freed themselves from other’s expectations and follow their joy or bliss. Their mantra is “It is better to fail living one’s own life than to succeed in living someone else’s.” They are fulfillment oriented and mostly focus on what they love to do.
- Authentic Evolutionary Purpose:
People who live their authentic evolutionary purpose usually feel the pain of an absence of goodness/justice, truth or beauty in the world, and a deep, irresistible and urgent calling to do something about it. There is a sense that one has to do this now because no one else will and evolution can’t wait.
When we connect with a partner who shares this calling, it feels like we found our second wing that allows us to fly. This is related to the need for balancing and harmonizing feminine and masculine polarities in all four quadrants in order to fly (progress).To prevent this urgent calling from becoming destructive fanaticism (such as terrorism, nationalism, racism, absolutism, hyper-individualism, scientism, sexism, elitism, etc.), it is vitally important to recognize that our evolutionary purpose is rooted at least in a world-centric or higher level of consciousness, expressed through ethical discourse with all stakeholders (including males and females), and that it serves the greatest good for all living beings.
Below are two images that point to identifying our purpose and sharing it with a partner as indicated by the metaphorical triangle of love.
There are many good books and coaches that can help you identify your purpose and guide you on the path. Please contact me for references that fit your stage of development.