By looking what is lacking inside of you that you project onto partners, and to heal these wounds by finding it in yourself. You may be an Ennegram 2 type (the helper) who initially offers to help (or worse to rescue) others in the hope to get love in return. That usually never happens. If you are a type 2, become a healthy type 2. Make a list what you truly want in a partner at the material, physical, sexual, mental, emotional, and spiritual level. Make sure you know what your values, needs, interests, passions, and dreams of the future are, and what your purpose is. Become the person you would want to date. Make sure that the person you feel attracted to next time meets all your criteria, and examine what may attract you that does not meet your criteria.