The answer and solution is found in one or more of the four dimensions of our being: One is in our interior mind and feelings–as David Schnarch wrote, our biggest sex organ is the brain. You may have emotional blocks and trauma, unresolved differences and conflicts, lack of emotional intimacy and trust, issues around fear and shame, unspoken and unfulfilled sexual fantasies and desires, or past violations of emotional and physical boundaries? Another challenge may be at the level of your physical body. Our libido/sex drive is controlled by hormones such as testosterone, estrogen, progesterone, oxytocin, and vasopressin. These control the ability to engage in sexual behaviors. Other physical issues may include erectile dysfunction, early ejaculation, vaginal dryness, being over or underweight, lack of physical exercise, alcohol and drug consumption, and certain medications, e.g. antidepressants. They are often related to our interior dimensions or vice versa. The third dimension are our cultural beliefs around sexuality, such as tabus (no sex before marriage or only after a number of dates, only certain positions, locations or times, etc.) or preconceived notions what kind of sexual behavior is OK for men and women. The fourth dimension is related to social conditions, such as money issues, no time because of work or stress, no conducive private safe environment for sexuality, for example living with parents or children, or the lack of a romantic setting. Lastly, there are five stages of sexual development form repressed to tantric, and couples can revive their sex life by going through these stages trough ongoing learning, healing, growing and awakening . Â
All of these issues can be addressed through practice, consultations, or therapy that revive your sexuality and offer make for a lasting exciting and passionate sex life in long-term relationships and marriage.