This may be related to self-validated versus other-validated intimacy, which is essentially an inner insecurity or lack of communication skills, or both.  David Schnarch characterizes it this way:
Other-validated intimacy requires your partner to validate and accept all your disclosures.
Self-validated intimacy is created when you reveal yourself to someone. It’s the very act of revealing that creates the intimacy. Their response, whether they agree or disagree or are completely ambivalent, is not what matters. It’s that you’re choosing to share yourself, warts, beauty spots and all, with another. It’s your vulnerability, your courage and your openness that creates the intimacy.
To move from Other-validated to Self-validated intimacy requires psychological healing and growth work.
Usually, people need to be at a post-rational “sensitive-self” level of consciousness to communicate this way.

Translate »