Book to learn and practice how to communicate your observations and related feelings in a nonviolent and compassionate way in order to get your needs met by your partner.

Identify your specific needs when relating with others, especially in your love relationships.

Separate your observations of your partner’s behavior from the feelings that are stimulated in you when your needs are not met.

Express these feelings in an authentic, nonthreatening way by distinguishing them from interpretations and strategies.

Without being attached to an outcome other than compassionate connection and mutual understanding, make doable requests that clearly communicate what and why, when, where, and how you want your partner to meet your needs.

Understand the difference between needs and neediness.

Offer your partner empathy when he or she is in distress by guessing his or her observation, the feeling created, and the unmet need—and then make an offer to reestablish love and connection.

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