Let me first remind you that feminine and masculine polarities can be equally embodied by males and females. Each of them has healthy and unhealthy expressions. Even though there may be certain genetic predispositions for men and women to be either more masculine or feminine in nature, the expressions are mostly learned. As a very simple and general orientation we can associate the feminine as the flow and the masculine as the banks of a river. Or in dance as following and leading. In the integral model the feminine is defined as communal (care, compassion, feeling, relational) and descending (surrender, body, earth, fullness, movement, details). The masculine is defined as agentic (autonomy, rights, thinking, justice) and ascending (presence, heaven, emptiness, stillness, big picture). The best way to align yourself with your feminine nature is to be with a healthy, present, mature, strong, secure, equal and opposite masculine partner. You should be able to trust him or her enough so that you can surrender, flow, connect with, express your feelings and desires, allow yourself to be desired, to be seductive, to radiate, to shine, to be seen, to openly receive, to be fully loved, to be embraced, to be fed, to be filled, to be claimed, to be guided/led, to be cared for. As you do so, notice any resistance (maybe even as you read this) and overcome this resistance without losing yourself or have your healthy boundaries violated. If you don’t have such a partner (or friend to practice with) you may find certain workshops or groups that allow you to develop your feminine helpful. If you are alone (which is really a masculine expression), get out of your head through embodied meditation, dress feminine, move to soft music, take a hot bath, watch romantic movies, practice yoga, put on makeup, decorate, create a vision board with feminine images, slowly eat chocolate covered strawberries and other sensual foods, write your feelings and longings into a journal, create art, go on random walks in nature, spend time with animals, children and elders. As always, reach out to me if you need more guidance or practice.


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