The first step is to realize that all spiritual and personal development unfolds through multiple states and stages. Second, it is helpful to learn what these state-stages are. Third, it is important to understand the difference between waking up and growing up, and how they interconnect with each other. Fourth, it is indispensable to be in a relationship with a partner who is at the same stage of spiritual realization and personal maturity as we are. And fifth, it is crucial for a thriving, fulfilling, and sustainable love relationship to advance together through ongoing learning, healing, growing, and awakening.
Spiritual awakening or Ego transcendence typically unfolds through five states-stages of awareness and disidentification, while personal maturing or Ego development advances through eight levels of increasing differentiation and integration.
Spiritual awakening is best attained through an individual structured introspective meditation or Integral mindfulness practice that increases your conscious awareness of the material, physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual realms, and strengthens your ability to witness in order to first disidentify and then re-integrate these realms. A spiritually aware partner can witness and challenge you by holding up a mirror when you re-identify through attachment, desire or hatred to any of these realms.
Personal maturity advances when the values and worldviews of your current stage of Ego development or maturity are no longer adequate to solve the significant problems and challenges that you face, and you start looking for solutions that lead you to transform to the next higher level of consciousness. This painstaking growth always happens in the context of self-other relationships. Intimate love relationships often challenge and inspire us the most to learn, heal, and grow. A more conscious partner can support you in this process of transformation.