The first step is to identify what level of consciousness you and your partner are at (magic, egocentric, conformist, rational, pluralistic, or integral), as people at different levels use different arguments for validating what is good, true, beautiful and practical to them. If you are at the same level, learning how females and males communicate differently (for example males being shame driven and females being fear driven, and males making arguments for rationality, autonomy, rights, and justice, while females focus on feelings, care, compassion, and relationships) and how to reach mutual understanding and ways to move forward. This includes effectively dealing with emotional triggers, wounds and personal trauma.

If you are at a higher level than your partner, you can not expect to be understood. The only solution is to have empathy and compassion for the suffering that he or she creates for self and others (hopefully not you). When the pain becomes big enough, he or she may be able to grow and you may be in support of his/her development. If this is not the case in a reasonable amount of time, and you can not agree to disagree or are constantly asked to regress to his or her level, then it is best to end the relationship with love and understanding so that both of you can find a partner at your respective levels to learn, heal, grow, awaken and contribute together. 

Finally, if your partner has a personality disorder and you are an empath or codependent, you will rarely find a way to create mutual understanding and harmony.  


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