Integral Relationship Books


Sex Purpose Love addresses the complexity of love relationships in the 21st century and the importance of healthy sustainable love relationships to solve the global challenges that humanity is facing. It applies Ken Wilber s Integral theory of human growth and potentials to the areas of sex, purpose, love, and couples creating a better world.

Part 1 about the Sexes outlines how singles and couples can co-create healthy Integral relationships by meeting each other at their level of development (e.g. consciousness, spirituality, sexuality, and anima/animus complex), and learn, heal, grow, and awaken together.
Part 2 about Purpose shows how individuals can identify and then share their life’s purpose with an equal and opposite partner to co-create a healthy lifelong Integral relationship that serves the greatest good for the largest number of people and thus makes the world a better place.
Part 3 about Love provides a new Integral vision for love between partners at the level of all seven Chakras (material, sexual, power, emotional, creativity, wisdom, and unity) and even more so for what is uniquely co-created between them.
Part 4 about Creating a Better World provides data and good reasons why couples with children in healthy lifelong Integral love relationships are better off than singles and essential for creating a better world and future in which everyone can flourish.

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Kindle Ebook available in US, UK, Germany, France, Spain, Italy, Netherlands, Japan, Brazil, Canada, Mexico, Australia, India;

Paperback available in: US, UK, Germany, France, Spain, Italy, Japan, Canada, and Australia. 


“Ground-breaking work”

“Martin Ucik has continued his ground-breaking work in applying Integral Theory to the whole complex issue of relationships. Like his first book in this area, it is fully grounded in Integral Theory, and continues adding new, interesting, and relevant material to it, to bring a truly up-to-date overview of today’s relationships and how to make them work from the very highest potentials possible. Some of it is controversial, but that’s what you expect from any truly great pioneering approaches, and this is certainly that. Given the fractured and fragmented state of relationships as they exist now, nothing is more important for today than a truly comprehensive and inclusive and leading-edge guide. Highly recommended for men and women alike who are looking for a relationship today that will actually last. One thing is for sure—not taking into account all the information, insights, and wisdom that is contained in this book is to almost guarantee any relationship will not last. So check this out, you’ll be very glad you did!”

Ken Wilber

“Bold Utopian Vision”

“I have always believed that for romantic and sexual relationships to flourish and be truly enduring, it was essential that both parties share the same hopes, values, and existential aspirations. In Sex Purpose Love Martin Ucik lays out a bold utopian vision in which integrally inspired romantic couples who share both biological and transcendental purpose, endeavor to bond at all levels. What is driving their tantric passions is not merely a quest for personal fulfillment but the highest aspiration: that their radical and inclusive union/communion can form the enlightened nuclei or building blocks of a better, more evolved world to come.

This evolutionary manifesto is both a detailed guidebook and a compelling argument that brings to light our unexamined beliefs, assumptions, hidden hopes, and fears about sex and love. Boldly, Ucik has paved new and exciting territory into the captivating world of the possible for us all.”

Andrew Cohen,
Founder of Evolutionary Enlightenment

“Beautiful Book!”

“Martin Ucik has given us another beautiful book on love relationships, including along the way many insights about integral living as well.”

Allan Combs, Ph.D.
CIIS Professor of Consciousness Studies, President of The Society for Consciousness Studies, Editor: CONSCIOUSNESS: Ideas and Research for the 21st Century

“A Salutary Read”

“Sex Purpose Love sheds new light on intimate relations. In his new book, Martin Ucik builds a bridge between a Californian way of feeling and the continental philosophy of life. A really instructive and salutary read!”

Dr. Ferdinand Fellmann
Prof. Emeritus for Philosophy at Chemnitz University and author of The Couple: Intimate Relations in a New Key

“Countless Perspectives”

“The Integral approach is all about multiple perspectives. The more ways we can experience each moment, the more complete our view and the more choices we have. Many studies have found that satisfying relationships are the main contributors to happiness, and that modern intimacy is challenging.  Sex, Purpose, Love: Couples in Integral Relationships Creating a Better World provides countless perspectives and insights, organized around the Integral model to help individuals and couples grow in their abilities to love and serve throughout a lifetime. Highly recommended!”

Keith Witt, Ph.D.
Author of Integral Mindfulness: From Clueless to Dialed-In, and Shadow Light: Illuminations at the Edge of Darkness

“Sweeping Opus”

“Martin Ucik has produced a sweeping opus and seminal meta-analysis regarding the past, present, and future of co-creative love relationships. Sex Purpose Love is a well-researched and comprehensive guide into the intricacies of human development, relationships, sexual dynamics, and Integral theory. It leads us to a marvelous critical discourse on the direction and fate of human flourishing. The call toward living our individual ultimate purpose and finding shared evolutionary purpose with another is both loving and imploring.”

Wesly Feuquay, M. Ed.

Prof. of Consciousness Studies – Maricopa Colleges, AZ, Founder and Director of The PSYLOGIA Institute for the Development of Consciousness, Purpose, and Transformation

Bodhisattvic, scholarly and passionate

“Martin Ucik’s new book is a great gift for all of us who are struggling to make sense of self and relationships in an increasingly chaotic and tribal world. His passion, compassion, and sincerity are weaved into every sentence. It’s so palpable to me. As a librarian, I love to spread the good word and I can’t wait to spread it far and wide. Martin has brought Integral theory down-to-earth where it is needed the most. Sex Purpose Love is a bodhisattvic, scholarly and passionate blend of wisdom from the East and West, from the sacred and scientific, and from the intrinsic and extrinsic that can help tremendously in making our tribal as well as our transcendental unconscious conscious, and thereby developing our highest but often unrealized human potentials for loving sincerely, and living meaningfully–and inspiring others to do the same.”

Nomi Naeem
Senior Librarian, Central Brooklyn Public Library, Integral New York

“Needed Contribution”

“A much-needed contribution, written to reach many who are interested in the intricacies of coupling. This book provides the reader with an easily understood application of integral theory while elucidating the obstacles and joys in couple development.”

Tom Habib, Ph.D., 
Clinical Psychologist, Carlsbad, California

Integral Relationships: A Manual for Men

Integral Relationships: A Manual for Men (and curious women) provides a practical roadmap for singles and couples to co-create healthy, sustainable love relationships. The book integrates the growth potentials of body, mind, heart, and spirit/soul through balancing healthy feminine and masculine polarities, and puts them into a cultural and social context. This allows men to meet women as opposite and equal partners at their level of development to co-create sustainable love relationships that serve the greatest good for the largest number of people.

Read more

Kindle Ebook available in US, UK, Germany, France, Spain, Italy, Netherlands, Japan, Brazil, Canada, Mexico, Australia, India;

Paperback available in: US, UK, Germany, France, Spain, Italy, Japan, Canada, and Australia. 

Reviews of “Integral Relationships: A Manual for Men”

“A giant compliment in itself”

“I have only glanced over your book but find it intriguing enough to add to our library of carefully selected relationship books as we enter into the process of writing our own, which is a giant compliment in itself — you know how much is out there.

Dr. David Feinstein,
Co-Author, The Promise of Energy Psychology

“I haven’t seen anything quite like it”

It’s a terrific book, Buddy.  The more and more I read, the more and more I was just really astounded how much territory you cover.  I will read sections of the book and hopefully people will get a sense of just how complete this thing is.  Honestly, I haven’t seen anything quite like it [chuckles]—it’s very impressive.

Ken Wilber
The Integral Vision


“After a bit of a dry start, the book comes alive when you give real-life examples of the various stages and stage combinations.  Actually, it fills the vacuum created by the book SEX, GOD & GENDER that Ken Wilber announced around 1997 as volume 2 of his Kosmos Trilogy but which will probably never see the light of day – as will volume 3, for that matter.  But your book is probably more practical and helpful given Wilber’s sweeping style of writing.  I found the transcend/include vs. transcend/exclude (e.g. dissociate?) gender difference interesting, as well as your stress on the paramount role of sexual selection during consciousness evolution.”

Frank Visser
Integral World

“You’ve done an impressive job”

I read the pages you suggested and am impressed by your scholarship!  You must be one of the first people in history to put the postmodern predicament as it relates to sex and romance on the integral map, and you’ve done an impressive job.  I don’t have any particular feedback to give you.  It was clear that your ideas regarding what truly evolved transpersonal relationships would actually look like were somewhat speculative, but what else could they be?  We’re not there yet…

Andrew Cohen,
Spiritual Teacher, Founder Enlighten Next Magazine

“Refreshing in a landscape littered with cloying fluff”

“I read “Integral Relationships: A Manual for Men” this morning and found it to be an insightful and powerful application of the Integral model to what has to be the most compelling developmental topic in the world.  I especially appreciated your straightforward and candid style; it was refreshing in a landscape littered with cloying fluff.

Robb Smith
Author of Integral Mindfulness: From Clueless to Dialed-In, and Shadow Light: Illuminations at the Edge of Darkness

“Excellent resource for men and relationships in general”

“…backed up by scientific findings at every step, this amazing work is the finest to date on relationships for men.”

Allan Combs, Ph.D.
CIIS Professor of Consciousness Studies, President of The Society for Consciousness Studies, Editor: CONSCIOUSNESS: Ideas and Research for the 21st Century

Integral Relationship Books in Other Languages:



Integrale Beziehungen: Ein Ratgeber für Männer
(und interessierte Frauen)



Sex Bestimmung Liebe


Интегральные отношения


Kvinder – en manual for mænd


Integral Partnerlik ve Cinsellik – Sağlıklı İlişkiler Rehberi

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