Thank you for your question. It can be frustrating when we get this feeling of not being adequate or good enough for our partner. The first question is if your partner challenges you to learn, heal, grow, and awaken so that you can realize your full human potential, or if he or she tries to pull you down to his or her level or change for their sake. This may require a third person on an Integral or higher level to evaluate. If you are asked to evolve for your own good and you feel resistance, you may have a fear or immunity to change. Most people have to first deal with their warranted and unwarranted fears and resistances before they can begin the process of change. Otherwise, their ego will invalidate, block or stall the inquiry. If that is the case, you can try to find out why you are afraid to change. I can provide you with a map from the book “Immunity to Change” by Harvard Professor Robert Kegan. If you feel that you are asked to devolve, then you can try to develop empathy and compassion for your partners suffering by seeing the world through his or her eyes. He or she will still not be able to see your reality, but at least you create a connection at his or her level and support him or her to slowly evolve to your level. Also see my answer to a question above that comes from the other side.

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