It can be very scary when we no longer trust our partner and when our values don’t match. Trust is mainly an inside job. This means, we don’t trust ourselves enough to be OK when someone else would let us down, and/or we don’t have healthy boundaries and clear values to say no when we get abused. We then project this lack or fear outward, and become distrustful, suspicious, controlling and needy. To become more aligned in our values, it is a good exercise if both partners circle the important words in a list of values that you can find on the internet of I can provide you with, and then have a conversation about it. Of course, the expression of values changes at different levels of development, and if you are too different, this will create irresolvable challenges in your relationship.