First of all, it is very compassionate of you that you take care of him when he is down, even if it is frustrating to you. Not taking care of him is of course no solution to improve your relationship. Men usually don’t speak when they feel shame about having problems. Expressing these problems to women makes them feel weak. In a subtle/unconscious way, they sense that it often drives their partner to their masculine side and they then either judge or criticize them or they try to fix the problem for their partner by giving unsolicited advice. To overcome this problem, it is important that you learn to say things and ask open ended questions that allow him to open up without shame or fear, that you stay in your feminine energy of care and compassion, and that you don’t give advice or try to fix or help him directly. This requires you to not go into fear when he becomes vulnerable, to show that you trust him to overcome the challenges that he faces, and that he can heal, learn and grow with your gentle guidance and assurance that you are on his side. This allows you to avoid going down the fear-shame spiral and to return to romance and love.
When my husband is down, I take care of him and he does not want to speak. If I don’t take care of him, this time he gets cross with me.
by Martin Ucik | Blog | 0 comments
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