My first intuition about your question is if you have a serious relationship with yourself? With that I mean, do you know what your needs, interests, passions, purpose and dreams for the future are, and why you want to be in a relationship? The answer usually falls into four broad categories: 

  1. Just to hang out every now and then to engage in fun activities and sex.
  2. To also share a life together including having company for activities you enjoy, sexuality, living together, helping each other with tasks, maybe having children, and augmenting your lifestyle by sharing financial and other resources (home, car, appliances, electronics etc.)
  3. To also learn, heal, grow and awaken together. This means being curious about the world, pursuing a responsible and healthy lifestyle, owning your emotional reactions to your partners reality, sharing your needs and feelings, realising growth potentials by stretching your comfort zone and challenging each other’s assumptions and worldviews, and to share a mindfulness or meditation practice that leads you to spiritual awakening (transcending desires, attachments, and fears).
  4. To also share a transcendental purpose that creates more goodness, truth, beauty or functionality to create a better world by providing the greatest happiness for the largest number of people.

Once you know, you can clearly communicate this in your dating profile and ask the men who are interested in you questions that reveal to you why they want to be in a relationship with you, and what their relationship history is. You can then evaluate if their patterns and reasons are aligned with yours. If not, then you can appreciate them for their interest and tell him that you are not the right partner for them. You may even have female friends who you could introduce them to who share their interests and needs. Once you find or attract a man who shares your dreams and you fall in love with each other, you can create a shared vision statement for your relationship. This will increase the likelihood that he will stay with you.


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