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Personal Consultations, Facilitator and Private Trainings

I want to understand women’s souls more deeply.

I want to understand women’s souls more deeply.

Carol Gilligan wrote in her famous book “In a Different Voice” that gave me sleepless nights: “Men try to understand others by understanding themselves; women try to understand themselves by understanding others.” If this resonates with you as it did with me, then you...

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I can’t find love. What can I do?

I can’t find love. What can I do?

Divided couple are separated by white wall Of course my answer is to become integrally informed about love relationships by integrating the essential wisdom from the East (e.g. chakras and spirituality) with the scientific knowledge from the West (e.g. psychology,...

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How to create a common Relationship language.

How to create a common Relationship language.

The first step is to identify what level of consciousness you and your partner are at (magic, egocentric, conformist, rational, pluralistic, or integral), as people at different levels use different arguments for validating what is good, true, beautiful and practical...

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How can I love unconditionally?

How can I love unconditionally?

There are two forms of unconditional love. One is localized, for example loving a child, pet, parent or  partner unconditionally. This means, whatever will happen, I extend myself for the purpose of nurturing your material and physical well-being, as well as your...

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Why do the conflicts in our marriage repeat?

Why do the conflicts in our marriage repeat?

There can be multiple reasons, or a combination of them. Naturally, becoming integrally informed and experienced is the foundation for identifying resolving any relationship conflict. Below are a few reasons why you struggle:The first may be that you may have...

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Is anger and fear inevitable?

Is anger and fear inevitable?

Being able to feel emotions is part of what makes us human. So yes, they are inevitable. Primary emotions evolved in response to challenges faced by our remote ancestors and became ‘hardwired’ into different parts of our brains. They are commonly identified as...

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Is it a mistake to care more about sex than love?

Is it a mistake to care more about sex than love?

If you are totally clear and honest about your intentions, feelings and desires, if they are mutal, and if the sex is consensual and healthy, then I see no problem with caring more about sex than love. However, it can be tricky, as women often get attached after sex...

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Why are there no evolved men around me?

Why are there no evolved men around me?

First of all, no woman knows “all” men and may stand in her own way of attracting an “evolved” partner by thinking this way.  Secondly, there are multiple developmental lines or intelligences that humans can evolve in, such as consciousness, cognitive,...

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How can I find my soulmate?

How can I find my soulmate?

There are three levels of soulmates. Each higher level transcends and includes the previous one. Your first step is to become clear what level of soulmate you want to find/attract. A “Biological Soulmate” that you feel physically attracted to, experience “chemistry”...

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I am afraid of getting married. I am always the one who changes other’s tune and I am afraid of being cheated. I am also afraid of being abandoned. I’m afraid of marriage. I’m always the one in the relationship and apologizing: I have a fear of being cheated and I have a fear of being abandoned.

I am afraid of getting married. I am always the one who changes other’s tune and I am afraid of being cheated. I am also afraid of being abandoned. I’m afraid of marriage. I’m always the one in the relationship and apologizing: I have a fear of being cheated and I have a fear of being abandoned.

Thank you for your question. I sense your conflict between being in committed safe relationship, and your fear of disappointment. Your conflict is most likely related to a highly avoidant and/or highly anxious attachment style. If that is the case, see my answer to ...

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Trust and value problem in a relationship

Trust and value problem in a relationship

It can be very scary when we no longer trust our partner and when our values don’t match. Trust is mainly an inside job. This means, we don’t trust ourselves enough to be OK when someone else would let us down, and/or we don’t have healthy boundaries and clear values...

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Not being able to meet/to be relaxed.

Not being able to meet/to be relaxed.

Thank you for your question. Do you mean to physically meet and relax together? Are there practical reasons (time, money, distance, no place to meet etc.) or emotional reasons (not enough attraction, fear, shame, different needs and expectations?). maybe you can...

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Why men want to lead in the relationship?

Why men want to lead in the relationship?

Thank you for the question. It sounds like you feel powerless in your relationship. As you see all around you, males who are in leadership have the highest social status, hold the most power, often make the most money, AND have the most attractive (=fertile) females....

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How a life-lasting marriage is possible?

How a life-lasting marriage is possible?

I am excited to hear that you have this desire, as it is our vision and mission to empower couples to have life-long marriages. There are several keys: First that couples are at the same level of development in crucial areas such as consciousness, emotions, sexuality,...

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I feel love for everyone and everything, and am often drawn to multiple partners. I also have a deep yearning to be with my soulmate and to get married. Is there a practical way to do this?

I feel love for everyone and everything, and am often drawn to multiple partners. I also have a deep yearning to be with my soulmate and to get married. Is there a practical way to do this?

Feeling love for everyone and everything is a wonderful stage. It also opens the door to what is called polyamory (many loves), and often includes sexuality. Why limit our love and sexuality to one person if we can love everyone? Isn’t monogamy an unnatural product of...

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How can I get my partner to love me? How can I find a partner and fall in love? Why do I have a lack of love in my life? When will I fall in love? How can I feel that I deserve to be loved? How can I find inner love?

How can I get my partner to love me? How can I find a partner and fall in love? Why do I have a lack of love in my life? When will I fall in love? How can I feel that I deserve to be loved? How can I find inner love?

The answer to these questions depends largely on our definition of love and at what level of consciousness development and spiritual awareness we are. This defines our capacity to love and what makes us feel loved. On a physical level of survival and sexuality,...

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Communication problems and insecurity.

Communication problems and insecurity.

This may be related to self-validated versus other-validated intimacy, which is essentially an inner insecurity or lack of communication skills, or both.  David Schnarch characterizes it this way:Other-validated intimacy requires your partner to validate and accept...

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Are relationships based on profits?

Are relationships based on profits?

Need-based relationships often are. As long as there is a mutually beneficial exchange between the partners, even if asymmetrical, they can be healthy. As needs and the willingness to meet them change, the relationships become unstable. Shared purpose can transcend...

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I am only attracted to spiritual partners with complex personalities. Initially, these relationships are very exciting and we feel like soul-mates. But eventually, I feel used and burn out. How can I change this pattern?

I am only attracted to spiritual partners with complex personalities. Initially, these relationships are very exciting and we feel like soul-mates. But eventually, I feel used and burn out. How can I change this pattern?

It sounds like you are a highly evolved and empathetic person who thrives on deep intimacy and likes to help others. That is a wonderful trait. Unfortunately, people like you (and I fell into this trap as well several times) are often attracted to partners with...

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How are Sexuality and Spirituality connected?

How are Sexuality and Spirituality connected?

First of all, both are temporary states, which means sexual and spiritual peak experiences tend to come and go. Secondly, both unfold in 5 stages that are connected and unfold together, especially in state five of transcendental tantric sexuality, which requires a...

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COSM Part 2: Transcendental Purpose

COSM Part 2: Transcendental Purpose

I am very honored that world-renowned artists Alex and Allyson Grey invited me to contribute an article about the Dialectic of Love to their COSM Journal of Visionary Culture #10 about LOVE. You can order your copy...

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Fear Shame Downward Spiral Exercise

Fear Shame Downward Spiral Exercise

Man: I now realize that I stopped being romantic when I no longer ………. instead of showing my love and care for you by ….. (think of love languages). I am very sorry and feel ….. when this confused, disappointed and scared you. Going forward I will ….. (think about her...

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Communication with Kim Von Berg

Communication with Kim Von Berg

Communication from our Aware & Healed Self As we see in the image above, men and women at different levels of consciousness use different ways of communicating to find consensus or agreement (encapsulated in the wonderful German word Verständigung, which means to...

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Coupling at All Seven Chakras with Anodea Judith

Coupling at All Seven Chakras with Anodea Judith

Click here to download the Power Point Show. Watch the Video at https://youtu.be/bECj_5POLX0 Anodea Judith's comprehensive work about the seven chakras provided much of the wisdom and foundation for developing the Integral Love Relationship model in Part III of my new...

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